A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO MY SUICIDE BOMBING (SATIRE, protected by amndt #1)

So I'm driving and the Koran audio book is skipping badly; seemingly spitting out the word 'WHORE! WHORE WHORE!' over and over. But I know Allah is in charge, just like he is of all my whitey friends who talked to me about foolish Zen.

They are depressed. They like to take drugs and be mindful. I was on my way to commit suicide, you know what I mean? Anway, I hit a red light, and this woman in high heels and tight red shorts comes to my window... The next day, I'm not so certain what to do with these explosives. Maybe I can go to gun show and sell them. I'll take a loss, but you know: Bubbles helped me sort out a lot of my depression and anger issues. I like her. She told me to vote Republican "All the hookers do, you know." What's good for Bubbles, is good for me, know what I mean?